The Legend of The Golf Ball and the Mouse

The Golf Ball

One day, there was a woman who decided to mow her back yard. The grass had not been mowed for sometime and it was very thick.
The woman had a son who enjoyed playing in the back yard. He would take his new golf clubs and some golf balls and go into the back yard and hit them. The woman would be upset with the boy because he knew he wasn't supposed to take the REAL golf balls out. He had plastic ones he could play with.

As the woman mowed the grass, she was thinking about her baby. She was inside buckled into her stroller watching a movie in her bedroom. Usually she watched TV in the living room, but today was an exception. Suddenly, the fierce blades of the mower caught something in them. Around and round the object spun until it made a quick exit...right toward the woman's house.

The woman turned the lawn mower off and turned around to see what had hit the house. She thought it must have been a rock. She looked closely at the gravel and realized that there was glass in the gravel. She knew this was odd. Slowly, her gaze rose, and she realized that the object had flown through a window and into her home.

The woman raced inside and muttered a few choice words as she searched for the intruder. As she searched, the woman realized that glass had flown throughout her house. There was glass in the sun room (where the window was broken) and glass in the living room. That's right. The same living room where the woman's little baby usually sits to watch TV.

The woman cleaned up the glass and called the glass company. She then went about her business of mowing the grass.

The Mouse

The very next day after "The Golf Ball Incident," the very same woman was sitting in her bedroom with her children. They were watching home videos from the past summer.
Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, the woman noticed a little something scurrying around in her bedroom. The woman slowly lifted herself and began stalking the sly little creature. He had run into the water heater closet. She slowly opened the door to the water heater and there he was. The clever little fellow.

The woman went and told her husband and he said, "Take the dog in there. That's what those dogs were bred for."

The woman realized that, indeed, they had the perfect little dog for the job. The woman picked up the little dog and carried him over to the water heater closet. The little dog became very frightened and thought that his mommy was going to put him in that little closet. The woman didn't want to scare the dog, so she did not force him to look for the mouse.

The woman's children went to the refrigerator and got some grated cheese to lure the sly litte mouse out of hiding, but, alas, he was nowhere to be found.

The woman went about her evening of putting the children to bed and cleaning the kitchen.
Later that evening, the woman and her husband were sitting in their bedroom and the woman again saw out of the corner of her eye the naughty little creature. She jumped up and told her husband that the mouse was there again. The mouse was under her dresser! The dog was prepared to capture the mouse. The woman had a container all ready to capture the mouse. The husband was standing as far back as he could offering moral support.

The mouse emerged from his hiding place behind the dresser only to see the giant woman and her little giant dog. He darted back under the dresser before the woman could capture him in her container. Back and forth he darted trying to escape, but there was no escape.

The woman told her husband that she was tired of sitting there waiting for it and that she was probably too skiddish to capture it by hand anyway. She expressed her desire for the vacuum cleaner so the little mouse could just be sucked out from under the dresser. Immediately, her husband ran to the back porch and grabbed the ShopVac. What a genious idea the woman had!

The husband and wife prepared themselves for the hunt. The husband plugged in the vacuum cleaner and the wife stood watch so the little creature couldn't escape. The husband asked the wife is she was ready.

"Yes," she replied.

On came the power suction of the vacuum. The woman passed it back and forth under the dresser when suddenly, there was a loud "THRUMP!"

The woman was confident that the little creature had been captured by the powerful suction of the ShopVac. She told her husband to look in the container to see if the mouse was in there. "You do it," he replied.

They decided that they either didn't catch it, it was dead, or he was stunned, simply because there was no noise of an escaping mouse coming from the depths of the vacuum cleaner.
Slowly, the woman opened the lid of the vacuum. she peered into the abyss and saw a sad sight.

The little mouse lay motionless at the bottom of the ShopVac. The woman solemnly rolled the vacuum to the front door and out to the dumpster. She dumped the contents of the container into the dumpster as quickly as she could, knowing the mouse could awaken at any time.

The mouse now lives a wonderful life in the dumpster. He loves all the rotton food and nooks and crannies there are to hide in.

The End